New word: maxistercus
Posted on 19. May, 2010 by rents in Illiterature | 24 Comments
While browsing the internet today I encountered a very large and overwhelming collection of complete literary crap. Although not a unique experience I nevertheless grasped for a word to describe this finding, only to realize there was no word in English which meant what I wanted. My language had failed me.
If I were German, I could easily invent a new word such as “großeüberwältigendeansammlungkompletterliterarischerscheiße” and no matter how ridiculous or difficult, it would be correct. English, alas, has no comparable idiosyncrasy.
I have therefore invented a new word: maxistercus. Combining the Latin prefix “maxi-” (which should need no explanation for anyone with more than a sixth-grade education) with the root “stercus” (meaning dung or faeces), I have devised a word which describes precisely what I mean to convey and which has the additional features of simple spelling, easy pronunciation, and the joy of sounding like you’re talking about a feminine hygiene product while in reality slipping foul language into polite conversation.
Behold:
max·i·ster·cus [mak-suh-stur-kuhs] –noun, plural -ci or -cus·es a very large and overwhelming collection of complete rubbish. –adjective, maxistercal of or relating to an overwhelming collection of that which is total crap.
I’ll be using this in casual exchanges for the next few days to see how it goes. In the meantime, enjoy this small sample from the maxistercus of Andria Kilgore:
Popularity: 15% [?]
WHAT? Oh that’s it Rents, you’ve gone too far.
What are you talking about? I’m trying to improve the language here: it’s a public service.
No you’re not. You’re just spreading more slander. I curse you!!!
Take your maxistercality and fuck off.
How dare you befoul and defile the english language like that you insolent imbecile.
You are the most vile, despicable, horrendous, disgusting, rotten, putrid, and utterly foul person on the internet.
Aww, baby Nathan found a thesaurus. How cute.
We better start laying off them, rents! Don’t you know they have our IP addresses? According to them, we both live in Texas! This is news to me! I mean, I had thought I had been living in Ireland, but apparently I’ve been living in the states this whole time!
Say: Since you live in Texas too, you should drive over some time so we can discuss our plans for world domination and monster genocide that Nathan says we’ve been plotting together. I’d hate to disappoint the poor werejohncandy, wouldn’t you?
Your plans would never work Habermann. And i’m not a werejohncandy , i’m a weregrinch. Grr…
OH, MY FUCKING BABY JESUS! I knew you were going to do this sometime or another! Please, take this down! If I were able to stick my head through my computer screen into yours, Rents, I would spit this mouthful of Jack Daniels into your face!
My god!
Could you get any more white trash if you tried? I think you could. Give it a shot, cupcake.
Lay off on talking shit about Nathan, Rennets! And keep my artwork and name off your blog, will you?
1. No.
2. No.
3. Rennet is an enzyme which is beneficial to mammals. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rennet It’s not an insult. Not that trailer trash would know anything about that.
I know you would say something like THAT, Rents. Well the enzyme is deffinately NOT beneficial in your case – it makes you smell worse.
It’s not cologne, idiot.
Bullfucking shit. You smell like expired Limburger cheese, I can smell your rank odor all the way from wherever you are to my desk.
Sweetie, I’m just trying to help you: “Rennet” does not mean what you think it does, and once you dedicate yourself to learning English your life will be ever so much better.
Desk? Isn’t that what white trash calls the outhouse?
I know that, sheesh. You have a one track mind, all you seem to think about is sex.
No wonder you don’t have a date. We should set you up with Airdna.
Nathan, you’re the only one talking about sex here. Did you just hit puberty?
No, and i’m not a kid. Screw you Rents.
If you’re not retarded or six years old, there’s no excuse for your existence.
Stop treating me like a child Rents.
Sure, Nathan. Just stop acting like one.
No, Rent-A-Wreck, my desk is not an outhouse. It’s the junk interior door between two file cabinets that I keep my Macintosh LC III on.
HAHAHA your OS is four years old. Isn’t that a little unhip for Portland?