Ginormous Blue Dong
Posted on 12. Mar, 2009 by rents in Watchmen | No Comments
If you find that phrase hilarious enough to laugh through an entire two-hour-forty-five-minute film, make arrangements for your heart to be hand-delivered to Alan Moore at his Lair of Misanthropy — I mean, Northampton, England — and then shoot yourself.
I have discovered there are three main types of people who complain about this: adolescents of all ages, prudes who think nudity is more harmful to society than violence, and men with insecurities about their own dong.
Seriously, what are you people, fifteen? Shut up about Dr Manhattan’s flacid manhood already. This is a character who didn’t even get aroused during a three-way with his girlfriend… and himself. It’s just there. It’s not doing anything. It’s not even like it’s a 3-D movie and the Giant Schlong of Liberal Decadence was flying around the theatre deflowering maidens.
Prudes do not have any reason to walk in to an R-rated film. There are other movies for people like you, and most of them are made by Disney. Don’t like nudity? Go see Race to Witch Mountain where you’ll feel safe. Remember, kiddies, family is just another word for censorship!
Slapstick Anarchy: Where Cecil B. DeMented references NEVER get old!
YOUR dong can be blue too! If not necessarily ginormous.
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