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A werejohncandy, for the unitiated, is a variety of gay furry fat fetishist with erectile dysfunction disorder who tries to cure his affliction by fantasizing about dressing up like John Candy dressing up in a shitty werewolf costume. For some werejohncandies (and by “some werejohncandies” I mean the only one in existence, DrMusic2-1), the fantasy [...]
Slapstick Anarchy is a personal blog containing periodic musings from an absurdist from Hollywood who has hit their head a few times too many. There are bunnies also. Look! Bunnies! Ooo.
Alas, Tiny Cactus of Joy finally succumbed to the gel and sank to its watery grave. It was never very strong, but it fought bravely.
It’s turned a sort of greenish brown, and seems to be decaying in the liquid. Cacti are very hardy, however, so there is yet hope: I removed the cork and disposed [...]
A werejohncandy, for the unitiated, is a variety of gay furry fat fetishist with erectile dysfunction disorder who tries to cure his affliction by fantasizing about dressing up like John Candy dressing up in a shitty werewolf costume. For some werejohncandies (and by “some werejohncandies” I mean the only one in existence, DrMusic2-1), the fantasy [...]
After a week of soul-crushing rainstorms, Tiny Cactus of Joy was able to spend the weekend photosynthesizing in my cactus garden with its new friends. I have noticed that the blue nutritional gel becomes more liquidy in the warm sunlight, which seems obvious but it still surprised me.
I suppose you could say that Tiny Cactus [...]
There’s this crackhouse in Hollywood that’s been shitting these all day.
After being pummeled by four storms in five days, we were rewarded by this eye-level rainbow by the Hollywood Hills. If you squint you can see the Hollywood sign through the haze.
Well, it’s eye-level if you’re ten storeys up.
The other day in our This Week in Illiterature feature we showcased the work of a genuine werejohncandy, DrMusic2-1. This was so successful, I thought we’d give the phenomenon of werejohncandyism some more in-depth analysis. I’m sure you’ll agree it’s an issue worth the while.
What is a werejohncandy? Well, just as the werewolf is a [...]
Today Los Angeles suffered the first of three rainstorms expected for the week, so the Tiny Cactus of Joy and I took the subway to work instead of cycling. It seemed to enjoy the experience, which it expressed to me by not dying. Quite an adventure for such a small cactus so far from its [...]
Illiterature: a style of written art which purposefully infuses literature with flagrant illiteracy, gaining credibility on the internet thanks to substandard education and the prevalence of retarded teenagers.
This week we feature the personal confession of DrMusic2-1, who, as a werejohncandy, transforms into the fierce but jolly (and quite dead) actor with the full moon… or [...]
