feedThe Candyman Came
Fun with condiments!
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About
Slapstick Anarchy is a personal blog containing periodic musings from an absurdist from Hollywood who has hit their head a few times too many. There are bunnies also. Look! Bunnies! Ooo.
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This Week in Illiterature: In Love With a Vamp ch.4!
Illiterature: a style of written art which purposefully infuses literature with flagrant illiteracy, gaining credibility on the internet thanks to substandard education and the prevalence of retarded teenagers.
There’s something about Twilight that inspires the worst sorts of writing. The going theory is that Stephenie Meyer herself is so bad a writer, that she’s single-handedly lowered [...]
Trim your buttcrack fern
Right.
So.
Let’s say that you’re a morbidly obese man. And let’s say that you’re possessed of the desire to put on a tight cycling outfit, lower yourself onto a bicycle with a crane, and then clog up the entire bike lane causing me to stare at your ass for five minutes while I wait for traffic [...]
Tiny cactus of death
Alas, Tiny Cactus of Joy finally succumbed to the gel and sank to its watery grave. It was never very strong, but it fought bravely.
It’s turned a sort of greenish brown, and seems to be decaying in the liquid. Cacti are very hardy, however, so there is yet hope: I removed the cork and disposed [...]
PSA: Top Five Ways to Kill a Werejohncandy
A werejohncandy, for the unitiated, is a variety of gay furry fat fetishist with erectile dysfunction disorder who tries to cure his affliction by fantasizing about dressing up like John Candy dressing up in a shitty werewolf costume. For some werejohncandies (and by “some werejohncandies” I mean the only one in existence, DrMusic2-1), the fantasy [...]
Tiny Cactus of Joy has a posse
After a week of soul-crushing rainstorms, Tiny Cactus of Joy was able to spend the weekend photosynthesizing in my cactus garden with its new friends. I have noticed that the blue nutritional gel becomes more liquidy in the warm sunlight, which seems obvious but it still surprised me.
I suppose you could say that Tiny Cactus [...]
Even Epicker Rainbow of Win in Hollywood
There’s this crackhouse in Hollywood that’s been shitting these all day.
Rainbow of Win in Hollywood
After being pummeled by four storms in five days, we were rewarded by this eye-level rainbow by the Hollywood Hills. If you squint you can see the Hollywood sign through the haze.
Well, it’s eye-level if you’re ten storeys up.
